I’ve been putting a lot of time into reading lately and one of the books I’ve picked up has been earth shattering for me. Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven by Susan Jane Gilman has been inspiring and comforting, and I’m only on chapter four. Why is it so impressive?
This is the first book I’ve found that admits to the hardships of traveling that I experienced on my trip to Europe. Most travel writers talk of success and boldness while minimizing the idea of stress and complete dependence on the understanding of strangers. The author of this book talks about being terrified of her situation, about being overwhelmed and full of doubt. Admitting to her humanity and the doubts in her heart makes her a bold and refreshing voice. Continue reading
Categories: Personal, Travel
Tags: Adventure, Air Canada, Airport, Belgium, books, Important Lessons, Personal, Preparations, Tough Stuff, Travel
My long distance relationship has a way of changing my thought process.
These days I have trouble deciding to go to sleep. It’s 1 a.m. for me and 6 a.m. for him. Our webcams are on. I’m comforted by the way he turns and sighs in his sleep, as if the distance had fallen away and I could roll over to find him there next to me. If I could only stay up a couple more hours, I would be awake when he gets up. But 4 a.m. is so very late and there is always something to do tomorrow. Instead I will turn my speakers up and wake whenever he makes a noise. Each time I look, the screen will be lighter, parts of the room appearing slowly in the faint sunlight. The shadows will fall back little by little, casting the light of day into my night covered world. I will hear him when he rustles his way out of bed. It will still be dark in the small hours before daylight and I will stumble to the computer to say goedemorgen as he apologizes for waking me, as if it hadn’t been my plan from the start. I will stumble back into bed as he goes for breakfast. I will sleep while he goes to class. If I sleep too late his classes will be nearly finished. By noon he will be home. He will eat his supper while I eat a late lunch. His day will end before it’s dark in my world. I will stay up for hours while he sleeps, accomplishing the things I never seem to get done while he’s awake. I will make a hard decision to sleep again.
Every morning your world shines into mine, the same way you bring light into my life.
I’m taking a break from writing about travel to address something that’s really bothering me. I’m going to be up front and say something that can prove to be extremely controversial on the internet. I’m kind of a feminist. I believe that people should be treated equally, that women shouldn’t be treated badly because they’re women and that men shouldn’t fell less like men because they have feelings. I believe that the idea of fake gamer girls is a virus to the geek community and that geek men are wrongly portrayed in the media as fat, ugly, antisocial monsters.
Most importantly to today’s topic is that I believe that harassing anyone for any reason is wrong. My boyfriend brought this article to my attention today, knowing that I would have interest in it. Long story short, this article talks about the ongoing harassment towards Gamespot editor Carolyn Petit over her review of Grand Theft Auto Five. She released her review about the game stating that she LOVED IT. She also spent 30 seconds of the video saying that she found the game profoundly misogynistic and scored the game at a 9.0 out of 10.0. At last look there are over 21,000 comments on the page, many of them filled with the most intense bile I have ever read on the internet. This is profoundly not okay.
I’ve been researching all night. I’ve been flopping back and forth about my life and my future. It’s too hard, maybe I can’t do it. What if it doesn’t work out? Honestly, whatever. I’ve done with this lack of self confidence. I used to have a proverbial fuck ton of confidence and I’ve got the awards to prove it. It’s time to buck up and claim my future.
PS. This motivation only ever happens at night. Godverdomme!
I was in Europe for 90 days. Before I left home, I knew that the mother language of my home base in Belgium was Dutch, specifically the Flemish dialect. I poured over books, websites and Rosetta Stone with great ambition, sure that I would know enough Flemish to get by for a summer in Belgium. This lasted a few weeks. Native Belgians and friends who had traveled the area told me that almost everyone could speak English. I stopped studying, comfortable in the fact that I would be just fine and learn as I went.
I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted here. I feel pretty okay with that. I realize that it was supposed to be a tool to keep a log of my travels and let everyone at home see what I was up to, but honestly, Facebook kind of covered the most important aspects there. Not only was writing taking up too much of my time, it was taking focus in my mind while I was traveling. Instead of enjoying myself, I was wondering what I needed to write about next. That’s not a proper way to experience it.
I’m now four days from the end of my trip. Four days. It’s hard to contemplate how quickly that summer went. I had an amazing, eye opening experience. Some of the trip was fantastic and other parts were very difficult. Most of those things deserve their own post. There’s not much that I can describe in just a few sentences, but we’ll get to those later. Continue reading
I haven’t been posting much this week because it proved to be a hard week for me in general. I probably should have been taking those experiences and documenting them here but I try to find a nice balance of being candid without getting into private matters. Unfortunately my alternative of bottling things up didn’t go over very well either. Continue reading
I’m feeling a pretty thankful today. I had a long conversation with my Mom today about my life and the things in it. While things aren’t always perfect, I do have a lot that I’m happy about. To stay on subject with the blog, one of the things I’m thankful for is the support I’ve received in the last six months. Continue reading
I haven’t been writing much because I’ve been in bed with a cold for the last couple of days. I’m trying to buck up and get myself together for the rest of Easter weekend, but I’m feeling a little BLAH. It also doesn’t help that my boyfriend is taking off for an eight day work stretch in England tomorrow, so I’m looking for some awesome things to keep me distracted. Continue reading
Categories: Gaming, Geeky, Help, Long Distance Relationship, Love, Personal
Tags: Adventure, Geeky, Help, Long Distance Relationships, Love, Personal, Tough Stuff
The light changes when you’re in the room..