My time left in Canada is only comprised of a handful of hours now. After 223 days of planning, I will board a plane for a year in Belgium. I’ve been able to avoid thinking the immediate nature of it up until today. Now my stomach is turning as I think about what to do with my last hours. Continue reading
Posts Tagged With: Long Distance Relationships
My long distance relationship has a way of changing my thought process.
These days I have trouble deciding to go to sleep. It’s 1 a.m. for me and 6 a.m. for him. Our webcams are on. I’m comforted by the way he turns and sighs in his sleep, as if the distance had fallen away and I could roll over to find him there next to me. If I could only stay up a couple more hours, I would be awake when he gets up. But 4 a.m. is so very late and there is always something to do tomorrow. Instead I will turn my speakers up and wake whenever he makes a noise. Each time I look, the screen will be lighter, parts of the room appearing slowly in the faint sunlight. The shadows will fall back little by little, casting the light of day into my night covered world. I will hear him when he rustles his way out of bed. It will still be dark in the small hours before daylight and I will stumble to the computer to say goedemorgen as he apologizes for waking me, as if it hadn’t been my plan from the start. I will stumble back into bed as he goes for breakfast. I will sleep while he goes to class. If I sleep too late his classes will be nearly finished. By noon he will be home. He will eat his supper while I eat a late lunch. His day will end before it’s dark in my world. I will stay up for hours while he sleeps, accomplishing the things I never seem to get done while he’s awake. I will make a hard decision to sleep again.
Every morning your world shines into mine, the same way you bring light into my life.
I was talking to a friend today, who confirmed something I knew but didn’t want to admit. I have a travel blog where I go to Belgium, talked about grocery shopping and then don’t post again until the trip was basically over. For those of you just joining me here, that was three whole fucking months.
I feel justified in saying that I stopped blogging so that I could better enjoy my trip. I was overwhelmed in a land where I didn’t know the language. Ask my boyfriend, I spent a fair portion of my trip in tears because I didn’t know how to order my own food or ask the cashier a question in Dutch. (I could have asked in English, but I felt SUPER guilty about being THAT foreigner.) In retrospect I should have spent time writing, but I didn’t know how to balance moderately wildly exploring the big bad world with settling down to write. But I tell you what, here’s where I make it up to you.
Starting from where I left off, we’re going to talk about my trip! First stop: ANTWERP!
Something kind of amazing happened today.
My boyfriend is a gamer. I’m not talking about a North American variety gamer that plays all day and wishes he was a pro. My boyfriend played with and later managed the Antwerp Aces, a Belgian pro gaming team. I’ve seen videos where people call him a legend and forums where fans beg him to admin competitions. He lived and breathed video games for most of his life and still has an intense passion for them. He doesn’t compete anymore, but he’s on top of the amazing new things to hit the video game industry.
Long story short, he’s nerdy and I love it. Continue reading
I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted here. I feel pretty okay with that. I realize that it was supposed to be a tool to keep a log of my travels and let everyone at home see what I was up to, but honestly, Facebook kind of covered the most important aspects there. Not only was writing taking up too much of my time, it was taking focus in my mind while I was traveling. Instead of enjoying myself, I was wondering what I needed to write about next. That’s not a proper way to experience it.
I’m now four days from the end of my trip. Four days. It’s hard to contemplate how quickly that summer went. I had an amazing, eye opening experience. Some of the trip was fantastic and other parts were very difficult. Most of those things deserve their own post. There’s not much that I can describe in just a few sentences, but we’ll get to those later. Continue reading
I’m sitting in my room, up way too late. Tomorrow I leave for Halifax, the very beginning of my trip to Belgium. Last night some of my friends helped send me off, and today I had to say farewell to others. Tomorrow I have to say farewell to my family. It’s all very surreal. My suitcase has traveled ahead of me to Halifax with the friend I’ll be staying with there. My papers are all in order and my carry on is packed. It looks like I’m all ready to go. Continue reading
Last week I announced officially that I would be going to Belgium for three months. For those of you who are just joining me on the blog, welcome! As you can see, I’ve been planning this for quite a while.
As exciting as it was to know I was going to be traveling the world, it was very important to me that I keep it a secret. I don’t come from a wealth of money and I was afraid that if my employer found out ahead of time, I would lose the hours I was getting. The last thing I needed was to announce I was going only to find out in the end that I couldn’t afford it.
I haven’t been posting much this week because it proved to be a hard week for me in general. I probably should have been taking those experiences and documenting them here but I try to find a nice balance of being candid without getting into private matters. Unfortunately my alternative of bottling things up didn’t go over very well either. Continue reading
I’m feeling a pretty thankful today. I had a long conversation with my Mom today about my life and the things in it. While things aren’t always perfect, I do have a lot that I’m happy about. To stay on subject with the blog, one of the things I’m thankful for is the support I’ve received in the last six months. Continue reading
I haven’t been writing much because I’ve been in bed with a cold for the last couple of days. I’m trying to buck up and get myself together for the rest of Easter weekend, but I’m feeling a little BLAH. It also doesn’t help that my boyfriend is taking off for an eight day work stretch in England tomorrow, so I’m looking for some awesome things to keep me distracted. Continue reading